Damaged Read online

  “We should get off,” he murmured softly, chuckling when she muttered underneath her breath, “I think we just did.”

  Taking her hand, he led her off the Ferris wheel, guiding her through the crowds, and she let him. She was shaken by their kiss. She told herself she’d only kissed him to make him forget about his fears. She hadn’t expected him to take the kiss further; she hadn’t expected herself to let him, and she certainly hadn’t expected to find herself wanting so much more.

  Letting go of his hand as soon as they were away from the crowds, she walked at a distance from him and toward the smoking dock on the pier. Rummaging through her shoulder bag, she pulled out a packet of cigarettes, tapping one out, and then searched for her lighter. She scowled when Dominic took the cigarette out of her hand and tossed it over the pier railing and into the water.

  “You kissed me,” he said softly, arching an eyebrow at her. “I thought you weren’t going to do that?”

  “I kissed you to make you forget your dumb fear of heights,” she snapped, scowling at him. “I didn’t expect you to stick your tongue in my mouth.”

  “I didn’t hear any complaints. In fact, the way you climbed on top of me, I’m fairly certain if I hadn’t stopped kissing you, we’d probably have been arrested for indecent exposure.”

  “Trust me, you’re not that great a kisser,” she lied, tapping her foot in annoyance. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not kissing you again. I have—”

  “A boyfriend,” Dominic snapped back. “I know, trust me. You keep reminding me every chance you get. I’m beginning to wonder who you’re trying to convince.”

  “You’re impossible,” she said, glaring at him and crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Yeah, but you love me anyway.” He smirked, his anger fading when she rolled her eyes. He slid his arm around her shoulder again. “Come on, Carovella. You know you loved the kiss as much as I did. I could tell by the way you were making those noises . . . oomph.” He grunted when she punched him in the stomach.

  Stephanie couldn’t hide her smile when he leered at her and she burst out with laughter, punching him lightly in the stomach again. “God, you’re an arrogant son of a bitch,” she said lightly, wrapping her arm around his waist.

  Glancing around the pier, she relaxed as they fell into an easy stroll. Dominic broke the silence. “If you love Santa Monica Pier so much, why haven’t you been here in such a long time?”

  Stephanie absentmindedly slid her fingers underneath the back of his shirt, almost as if she needed the feel of his skin against hers. “I used to come here with a friend of mine. Her name was Katrina. Every chance we got, we’d get away from the university dorms and come down here.

  “When I first met her, she’d moved here from San Francisco and she’d never been to Santa Monica Pier. Can you believe it? I brought her down here the first week we met, and we had our photo taken at one of the booths down here.” She stopped suddenly, her face stricken.

  “Her name was Katrina?” Dominic probed softly, watching her slide her arm from around his waist and anxiously rub at the scar on her hand. He took her hand in his own, rubbing his thumb against the ragged edge of the scar. “What happened to her?”

  “She died,” Stephanie said bitterly. “She died because she was young, impressionable and she thought I was someone to look up to. She wanted to be just like me. She wanted to be me. And she died because of me.”

  “How did it happen?” he asked, leading her towards one of the restaurants on the boardwalk. Guiding her into a chair, he sat down in a chair beside her.

  “She was murdered six months ago,” Stephanie whispered. “She was murdered in our sorority house.”

  “You found her?” he asked, searching her eyes for the answer. He watched her expression quickly change to one of cool detachment, and he softly cursed. She was shutting down on him. He’d pushed her too hard.

  “Yes, I found her,” she said abruptly, standing up and tapping her foot agitatedly. “She died before the ambulance could arrive.”

  “I think I’m beginning to understand why you don’t sleep at night,” Dominic said softly, reaching out and grabbing her hand. He drew her to him, standing and wrapping his arms around her. “Did they catch her killer?”

  “No,” she said, pressing her cheek against the warmth of his chest and wrapping her arms around him. “They never caught him.”

  Taking a deep breath, she moved away from him, her hand remaining on his bicep. “I watched him kill her, Dom. And he would have killed me too, but I fought back. I fought him, and the son of a bitch loved it. It excited him. He was turned on by my struggles. The bastard held a knife to my throat as he ripped my clothes and tried to—” She broke off, absentmindedly touching the scar on her hand again.

  He grabbed her hand in his, bringing it to rest on his chest. Closing her eyes, she whispered softly, “I escaped and survived. Katrina didn’t.”

  “Is that how you got the scar on your hand?” he asked, flipping her hand over and examining it. He lifted it to his mouth, pressing warm kisses against the scar.

  “I grabbed the blade of the knife. I wouldn’t let go, and I managed to get the knife off him. I stabbed him in the leg with it, and then I ran. I didn’t look back. I didn’t think about Katrina. I just ran. I ran from the sorority house, and then ran from dorm to dorm, slamming on doors. I was bleeding, and my clothes were ripped, but I didn’t stop until someone let me in. They called the campus police, and by the time the ambulance and the LAPD arrived, he was gone, and Katrina was dead.”

  “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said, drawing her back into his arms. He pressed his lips against the top of her head, holding her tightly. He felt her shudder, and his arms tightened around her. “Christ, no wonder you showed up at my bar.”

  Stephanie choked on her laughter. “I’ve never really slept well, but it’s even harder to sleep when the devil creeps into your dreams.” Pressing her face against his chest again, she murmured, “I’ve never told anyone about Katrina. Only my best friends, Angel and Lyn, know. The others, they don’t know. I’ve never wanted to share it with them or with anyone—until now.”

  “Not even your boyfriend?” he teased, his eyes darkening with emotion when she shook her head.

  “No, I’ve never told Ben. He came into my life when I needed him, and he saved me, but I’m not in love with him. He’s safe. He’s my anchor. Every time I’ve felt as if I’ve been drowning, he’s brought me back. It’s why I can’t break up with him. Not unless I have to.”

  Dominic studied her in horror, the realization of what she was saying dawning on his face. “Not unless—hell, you think this guy who killed your friend will find you again, don’t you? That’s why you’re preparing to run away. You’re worried he’ll come back and finish what he started.”

  Stephanie met his gaze, her eyes glittering with a savagery that made Dominic flinch. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”

  BEN REYNOLDS LEANED against the doorframe, watching Stephanie scan newspaper articles, her face a picture of fierce concentration. He angled his neck to read one of the headings, immediately drawn to the caption Cheerleader Slain. Lifting his gaze to look at Stephanie again, he smiled as she absentmindedly tucked a stray strand of her fiery red hair behind her ear, and his smile widened when she stopped, frowned and reached for the notebook by her side, scribbling furiously. It was a notebook in which he knew she had filled page after page with her thoughts. He’d once asked her what she wrote in the notebook, and she’d told him there were some aspects of her life he was better off not knowing.

  His smile turned bitter. Stephanie kept her private life so private he sometimes wondered if he even knew who she really was. She refused to discuss her family with him, other than to say she’d lived with her aunt until she was sixteen. She never spoke of her parents, and she never discussed her nightmares; nightmares he’d discovered she had every night, and that left her screaming, gasping for breath, and so shaken up she refused to go ba
ck to sleep.

  Lately, she’d started avoiding sleep altogether. On the nights she spent with him, they’d make love for hours on end. He shook his head in amusement. He had a beautiful girlfriend who wanted to lose herself in him to forget her pain. He should be thrilled. Studying her, he sighed resignedly. He wanted to help chase the demons plaguing her away, and to make her feel safe.

  In the past six months, they’d gone from friends to lovers. In that time, he’d hoped she would let him in, but she never did. He sometimes felt as if she were prepared to give him her body, but her heart was completely off limits to him—or anyone else.

  In the last month, she’d become even more disconnected. She’d started disappearing at night. She didn’t tell him where she was going. Instead, she waited until he was asleep before leaving, and didn’t return until morning.

  He cleared his throat, and smiled when she lifted her head and turned towards him. He lifted up the bag dangling between his fingers.

  “I thought you might be hungry,” he murmured as he watched her scoop up the newspaper clippings and shove them into one of the folders she always carried with her. Folders that held research.

  Stephanie tucked away her notebook and pasting a smile on her face, she stretched languidly. “You read my mind,” she said, taking the bag from him.

  Ben chuckled when she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and the box of Kung Pao chicken out of the bag and started eating. Moving into the kitchen, he took plates out of the cupboard before placing them on the kitchen countertop. He pulled a can of Diet Coke out of the refrigerator for Stephanie and a bottle of beer for himself, then grabbed the plates and walked back into the living room.

  Placing the plates and drinks on the coffee table, he sat back down beside her. He reached over and took the carton of Chinese food out of her hands and sat it down next to the plates and drinks, then moved his hand around the back of her neck and covered her mouth with his own in a gentle kiss.

  She broke the kiss. “Hi,” she whispered.

  “Hi back.” He slid his mouth over hers again in a deeper kiss.

  Hearing the front door slam shut, he growled at the intrusion and tore his mouth off of Stephanie’s as Lyn, Gena and Angel walked into the living room. As much as he liked Stephanie’s housemates, he felt as if there were no room to move with them around, and unless Stephanie was at his place, he never got any quiet time with her.

  “Food,” Gena said, as she sank down onto the floor beside them and reached for a Chinese carton. “Ben, you bought my favorite too, Black Bean Beef.”

  “I didn’t buy it for you,” Ben growled, his smile easing the sting of his words as he took the Black Bean Beef from Gena and picked up a plate.

  Angel smirked knowingly. “Girls, I think we walked in on a make-out session.” Laughing at Ben’s disgruntlement, she added, “I think Ben was planning on making Stephanie his meal before we interrupted him.”

  Ben picked up a fortune cookie and tossed it at her. He grinned when she deftly caught it and cracked it open. Pulling out the fortune cookie’s message, she snorted, “Soon, life will become more interesting.” Arching an eyebrow, she said challengingly, “What? Like my life’s not been interesting enough lately?”

  Leaning back on the sofa, Ben wrapped his arm around Stephanie’s shoulders and studied her friends with amusement. They were all so different. The common denominator between all of them was Stephanie. He doubted they would even all be friends if it weren’t for her.

  Angel Monroe was the most vocal and outrageous of the group. She moved through life with a forceful confidence and showed no fear – dressed in skintight leather pants, a skintight Sex Pistols God Save the Queen singlet top and stiletto boots, her clothing tonight reflected this. She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid to go out and get it. He hadn’t been surprised to find out she was stripping to put herself through university. She didn’t hide it, unashamed of what she did or who she was.

  He’d liked her from the moment they’d first met. While she was sometimes too blunt and out there, she had no hidden agendas. She was barely 5’1’’, with soft blonde ringlets shaping her face. His first impression of her was that she looked like a Botticelli angel, and then she’d opened her mouth and revealed she was really a pocket-rocket in disguise. He pitied the man who tried to tame her.

  His gaze moved to Lyn Mathers, and he shifted uncomfortably as she met his gaze head-on. Leaning forward to grab one of the Chinese boxes, she was fully aware of the unrestricted view of her bra-less breasts she was giving him. Quickly averting his eyes, his arm tightened around Stephanie’s shoulders, and he drew her closer to kiss her forehead. Lyn was an interesting person. She often said one thing and did another. She watched him constantly, and it irritated him. Any chance she got, she found a reason to touch him, press herself up against him, or flash him. Sooner or later he’d have to discuss it with her. He loved Stephanie. He had from the first moment he’d first laid eyes on her. He planned on spending the rest of his life with her, and he sure as hell didn’t need one of her girlfriends setting him up to cheat.

  Studying the blonde, who had moved onto the chair opposite them, one of her legs dangling over the side giving him an unobstructed view of her pink panties, he smiled grimly. Lyn was the kind of girl he hated. She was a man-eater in disguise. She looked sweet and innocent with cornflower blue eyes and her carefully made up face and designer clothes, but she was anything but naive. He’d heard the stories about her. Hell, he’d seen her in action. Meeting her gaze, he saw the challenge in her eyes as she raised one delicate blonde eyebrow seductively. The woman was scary when she decided she wanted something, and she’d stop at nothing to get it. And, she definitely wanted him.

  “God, this is heaven,” Gena moaned, patting her flat stomach as she stuffed rice into her mouth. She grinned at Stephanie, nodding her head towards the files on the table. “Let me guess; you’ve been researching again.”

  Reaching for the folder, she was surprised when Stephanie leaned forward and snatched it off the table before she could look at it. “This isn’t research,” she snapped, ignoring Ben when he raised an eyebrow in surprise at her abrupt tone.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I was just curious. I have a few cases I thought you might want to go over with me later. Give me feedback,” Gena said, her expression hurt. “But if you don’t feel like it . . .” Her voice trailed off.

  “No, Gena. Sorry, of course I do. It’s just this,” Stephanie began, indicating to the file, “is personal research. It’s private.”

  “What else is new?” Lyn drawled from the couch.

  Angel sank down onto the floor besides Gena, her gaze meeting Stephanie’s. A look of understanding slid across her face. “Lyn, we’re all allowed our secrets. Why don’t we let Stephanie have hers?”

  Stephanie mouthed thank you to Angel, who nodded her head towards Lyn and rolled her eyes dramatically. Lyn noticed and, narrowing her eyes, glared at Stephanie and Angel. Smiling saccharinely, she cooed softly, “Stephanie, have you seen any more of the delish guy Angel saw you hanging out with?”

  Ben felt Stephanie’s body stiffen at Lyn’s question, and his own body grew tense with apprehension. “What guy?” he drawled, trying to remain nonchalant. Faking a grin, he nudged Stephanie. “Babe, you’re not stepping out on me already, are you?”

  Stephanie scowled furiously at Lyn, who smiled sweetly in return. She knew exactly what her friend was doing. Lyn liked Ben. She’d made it obvious from the beginning. Once, she’d even walked out of the bathroom just as Ben was leaving and ‘accidentally’ dropped her towel to reveal everything to him.

  She knew Lyn found Ben sexy, and he was. Raking her gaze over him appreciatively, she smiled softly. Ben was blond with a dazzling smile and piercing blue eyes; eyes that could rock a woman to her core. Sweet and gentle, he was also brutally honest and had a devastating effect on women. She’d seen how females reacted to Ben, especially when he was on stage in front of a microphone with a guit
ar in his hand. Women threw themselves at him, and his sex appeal was heightened by the fact that he was absolutely oblivious to it. Even now, stretched out on the couch with faded jeans molded to his thighs and a tight black T-shirt accentuating his toned chest and arms, he was gorgeous.

  He turned his head, smiling crookedly at her, and she smiled back, her heart aching with the knowledge that she had everything she could possibly want in Ben. He was the perfect man for her. She would never have to worry about him cheating on her. He’d never break her heart, or treat her badly. He’d love and support her—he already did.

  Restlessly, she dropped her gaze to her food, stirring it around the plate with her fork. She loved him. She had from the first moment she’d met him. She just wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t make her heart race every time she saw him. He didn’t make her want to hold onto him tightly and never let him go.

  Not like Dominic.

  Subconsciously, she reached up and touched her lips. She’d kissed him, and he’d kissed her back. It had been one little kiss, but it had changed everything for her. She couldn’t get it off her mind. She couldn’t get Dominic off her mind. She’d wanted to lose herself in his kiss. She’d wanted to forget everything but his touch. She had forgotten everything, including where they were. She’d been so reckless. Anybody could have seen them. Ben could have seen them. She’d been so wrapped up in Dominic, she hadn’t thought about anything but the taste of him on her lips. A taste she craved more of.

  Dropping her fork onto her plate with a clatter, she was startled when Ben touched her arm. “Babe, should I be worried?”

  “What?” she asked distractedly, lifting her eyes from her plate to look around the room, finally landing her gaze on a mischievous Ben.

  “This guy you’ve been stepping out on me with, should I be worried?” he repeated teasingly.